“Fear the “Triple Your Money” Rabbit!”

Over the next several Blogs, let’s begin talking about several Skinny Rabbits many people chase. The first Rabbit we need to fear is the “Triple your money” overnight Skinny Rabbit. Here’s an example of what I mean.
When my precious wife, Cindy and I were first married, banking and retirement programs were very different. Nearly 30 years ago, there were no IRA’s believe it or not! What’s more, there wasn’t any internet banking to “roll over” funds online – because there was no public internet to do all your banking (or email, or surfing, etc). That meant when Cindy and I got married and moved from Arizona to Texas, she had to literally cash in her teacher retirement funds (accumulated over her six years teaching in Arizona before we married), and then take that literal check to a physical bank in Texas to reinvest it. (Can you imagine people actually had to do something like that without a single click of a mouse!)
The problem was, Cindy didn’t go to the bank. Cindy handed her teacher retirement check to me to invest for her. And in what I thought was a tremendous stroke of good luck at the time (actually, I thought it was God’s provision at the time), I met a man who said he was a “financial advisor” on our very first Sunday at our new church in Texas. Of course, he’d only been a final advisor for four weeks – but he’d been an FBI agent for 24 years! How trustworthy can you get!!! He’d worked for the government after all!
After listening to his “pitch” at breakfast about a “can’t miss” investment that would triple Cindy’s retirement funds in a year easy, I almost fell over myself rushing to hand him Cindy’s check. I was in a rush to follow that Rabbit – not take the time to read a perspective or ask for any specific details or real risks. All I heard and saw that morning was a “triple your money” Skinny Rabbit leading me to “big bucks” for Cindy. I couldn’t wait for the money to start rolling in and for Cindy to declare me her financial hero.
Unfortunately, you might guess the “rest of the story.” What I had invested Cindy’s money in was called then a Limited Gas and Oil Partnership (We were in Texas after all where I knew there was lots of oil!). Long story short, I lost every cent of her six years of teacher retirement funds in less then four month. Needless to say, Cindy wasn’t happy. I finally was able to get back in the house, but for the last 27 years, I have taken my “Ask all the hard question up front” wife with me to every significant financial meeting we’ve ever had.
Ever since that day I handed over Cindy’s check to a Skinny Rabbit, I’ve seen dozens of “get rich quick” Skinny Rabbits run in front of me. But now I’ve learned to stop, slow down and ask, “Is that a Fat Rabbit or a Skinny Rabbit?” No matter how good it looks, if it’s a “get rich quick” Rabbit, you’d better head the other direction.
One final and important thought. It’s not easy to put the breaks on so tempting a Skinny Rabbit, but keep one more thing in mind I wish I’d have known that day at breakfast. It’s the words of a very sobering Proverb (28:22) that could have warned me away from chasing this Skinny Rabbit had I known it. It reads, “A man with an evil eye hastens after wealth, and does not know that want will come upon him.” The word “evil” in Hebrew has two meanings here. The first is, “One who is unpleasing in the eyes of the Lord.” I think the reason why God isn’t pleased or excited about someone like me who “rushed” to gain wealth is because of the second meaning of the word, which is “to give pain, unhappiness, misery.” The only “return on investment” I created in my home were those three negatives (pain, unhappiness, and misery) compounded due to my chasing that Skinny Rabbit.
So the question is, are you chasing after a “triple your money overnight” Skinny Rabbit that promises you’ll “get rich quick” — like I did? If you are, it’s time to stop running into the financial wilderness. And if you have chased that kind of Skinny Rabbit in the past and learned from it like I did, then let me know your story. I’d love to know I’m not alone! (“Is this a Skinny Rabbit I’m chasing?”

First Blog on Skinny Rabbits — And Request for Your Help!

First Blog on Skinny Rabbits — And a Request for Your Help!

I’m in the final phases of finishing a new book called, Skinny Rabbits. Its subtitle is “Overcoming emotional, physical and spiritual exhaustion.” If the old saying is true that “You write best what you most need to learn,” this is going to be a great book!
In all seriousness, in case you’ve just stumbled onto this blog, then I’d love to ask you a favor. Over the next several days until the book is finished, I’ll be sharing daily bits and pieces of what I’ve learned on this subject (there’s a lot). But I certainly don’t know it all. I’d love to hear your story of how you’ve ended up chasing a “Skinny Rabbit” at some point in your life. And what’s more, I’d love to know what you do now to try and make sure that you’re pursing Fat Rabbits.
If you need more clarity on just what is a Skinny or Fat Rabbit before you can comment, just think about how many times most of us have chased after something that we were certain would give us life (energy, success, fulfillment, love, happiness). Only, if we did finally catch it, there wasn’t a bit of meat on the bones. The very thing we chased after was really a Skinny Rabbit — it wasted our energy, time, talents, hopes, and dreams and led us away from the good things we thought we were pursuing and into an empty wilderness. Instead of ending up with what we were looking for, all we got was exhaustion and emptiness – not the nurturing, sustenance, life, energy, fulfillment or position that we thought that Skinny Rabbit would bring.
In the Skinny Rabbit book, (and in the blogs that follow the next few days and weeks) I’ll talk about the Five Consistent “tip offs” that the thing — or unfortunately, too often the person you’re chasing is a Skinny Rabbit.
Staying away from Skinny Rabbits is a key to energy and life – and to avoiding the emotional, physical and spiritual exhaustion rampant in too many lives.
In future blogs, I’ll also talk about Fat Rabbits, and what a difference there is in our life and lifestyle when we chase after things that actually bring us nourishment, energy, and genuine fulfillment.
So, if you’ve got some family or friends you’d like to email and say, “You need to read and comment on this Blog about Skinny Rabbits!” I’d be very grateful for passing the word along — and hearing their story or getting their thoughts on the subject. (There’s so much wisdom out there. I’d be honored to get your thoughts on Skinny Rabbits — even if it’s been “hard won” insights that have come from chasing a Skinny Rabbit yourself).
Finally, if you’re in a small group, I’d love for some of you to take one small group meeting in the next two or three weeks to talk about Skinny Rabbits. Just throw out the topic to your group. They’re like you – highly intelligent and love to talk. Just read them this blog, and then turn them lose and let them chase down this subject! Let your group come up with personal examples, verses from Scripture that illustrate how Skinny Rabbits can rob us of life, an even more important, how focusing on Fat Rabbits can bring us life (and genuine rest) instead. And if you would, get someone to take notes during your “free form” discussion, and I’ll post and highlight as many as I can that can help you and me stay away from Skinny Rabbits in the future (as well as sit down with Fat Rabbits today). I look forward to hearing from you and learning from you as well. Writing this book has been an awesome help to me. I think carving out some time to discuss and think about Skinny Rabbits will be of real help to you as well.

Lord bless and keep hanging out with Fat Rabbits!
John Trent, Ph.D.
The Center for StrongFamilies
P.S. I’m trying to figure out how to post pictures in the Blog. If I can, if you’ve got a royalty free Skinny or Fat Rabbit picture you’ll send and give me permission to post, I’d love to see and share it as well! We’re auditioning Rabbits pictures for the book and website if you’ve got a Skinny or Fat Rabbit that is photogenic in your back yard!!!)

Back in the saddle again…

In the last month, I’ve been home a total of three days. The good part is that three of those weeks I was with the family. The tough thing has been nearly three weeks with no internet, nor cell phone. Not having phone service was nice. Not being able to get online was a challenge. (Especially the 141 “new messages” in the email box — not counting spam). It’s great to be back, and to be able to actually get online to post this (almost) daily blog. I’ll start with a recap of some of what happened at the several camps and speaking opportunities I’ve had this past month. Some of the stories I heard were tremendous — and tremendously encouraging. Thanks for checking in, and (almost) daily now, I’ll be able to add a thought, or even soon a link or picture, that I hope will encourage you and your family. John Trent

I’m back… And Gone again!

For a “nearly” daily blog, it’s been rough being out of both email and cell phone service for over a week! What’s more, I’m out of the country next week (Sunday through Friday). If there is good news in that, it’s that I’ll be back home for months once this next trip is complete. In the mean time, here’s something to consider as you seek to strengthen your family. Did you know that 99.9% of people who drown, do so within ten feet of shore or the side of a pool? In other words, many people give up when they’re just a few strokes away from ending up on shore. A similar finding came from a major study at the University of Chicago — regarding divorce. They found that of the hundreds of divorced couples they surveyed — five years after their divorce — nearly 3 in 5 said that if they had just stuck it out a little longer, they could have made it work. And in an even more amazing finding, those who were at the brink of divorce — and yet stuck it out — viewed their marriages as “happy” or “very happy” five years later!!! In other words, while I’m out of the country — Don’t give up on your spouse, the Lord, or the amazing ability for even very difficult situations to change for the better. I’ll be praying for you and look forward to when I’ll actually be here (nearly) daily to continue this conversation with you. Lord bless, John Trent, The Center for StrongFamilies

Is your life like the GT Global Challenge?

I read about an amazing “race” recently. It’s similar to the “World Cup” sailing championship, with those beautiful 72 foot sailing ships with billowing sails. However, the GT Challenge is different. It’s an around the world race. And if that’s not bad enough, you circle the entire earth backwards! In other words, you sail around the world (as if that’s not hard enough), going against the prevailing winds and currents the entire way. Does your life feel a little like that today? In particular does your marriage feel that way?Does it seem like the currents are all against you, and it’s just “too much work?” Then remember an amazing study at the University of Chicago done just a few years ago. They asked hundreds of couples who had divorced — five years later — if they had made the right decision. Amazingly, almost 70% felt if they had just hung in there a little longer — they could have made it. Not only that — but those who did hang in there instead of giving up — five years later — rated their marriage as good or very good! (That’s up from terrible!). I know it’s tough to “hang in there” through all the trials and not be tempted to jump over board. But you can do it. You can finish the course and you may be even closer to smooth water then you realize. Keep Hebrews 13:5 in mind, “For He Himself has said, I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Jesus is there for you… aways… no matter what. And also memorize Lamintations 3: 22-23, “The Lord’s lovingkindness indeed never ceases, His compassions never fail. It is new every morning; Great is Thy faithfulness.” The way you finish the GT Global challenge is is to just get up and sail “day by day.” Stay strong and know Almighty God Himself is there to help you — and that help is fresh and new every morning. He can help you face even the biggest (GT) challenge! Don’t give up and thanks for reading, John Trent, StrongFamilies.com

Committed to Commitment

Welcome to the (almost) daily blog of John Trent! As I learn more about posting links within the blog, I’ll be better able to direct you to some things well worth reading — like Paola Boivin’s outstanding column in the Sports page of the Arizona Republic, Thursday, July 13, 2006. It’s an article titled, “Honoring a man of his word” and it’s the story of two best friends have stayed committed to each other — despite a bullet that forced them apart. Because I’m learning how to link (and because I couldn’t find the link on the www.azcentral.com website!), I’ll share a brief synopsis of the story in a moment. It’s about two friends, but it has a ton to say to those of us who are committed to having StrongFamilies.
Here’s some context before I jump into the story. This past Wednesday and Thursday, I had the honor of being on the Focus on the Family radio broadcast. That’s a great number of people (try several million) listening in to what you have to say — in this case to a discussion of my newest book with Focus called, Breaking the Cycle of Divorce. In case you didn’t know, the main Focus broadcast is taped, not live. That means it was several months ago that I sat in a studio in Colorado Springs, and Dr. Bill Meier and I talked about what it was like growing up in a home of divorce. We shared about the very real challenges people from divorced backgrounds have in making and maintaining life-long commitments. If you’re not aware, statistically, commitment is a huge problem for ACOD’s. And here’s how the broadcast links to this article.
As you might imagine, when you’re on a Focus broadcast, you get a great deal of email. I never actually listed to the broadcast after it was taped, but apparently, I made the statement on one of the two days that, “People need to be committed to commitment.” That sparked a number of people to email and affirm the thought in those words in this time of “disposable” commitments. And that’s when I ran into this story of two close friends — who indeed are an incredible picture of being “committed to commitment.”
Sam Keller is the starting quarterback for the Arizona Sun Devil football team. He’s a Northern California kid who came from a high school in an affluent area. From the outside, he had little in common with Angelo Richardson. Angelo was from a tough Oakland neighborhood and an even tougher high school. But the two shared a love for football, and met up at a Nike prep fooball camp, and soon shared a deep friendship. They were quarterback and receiver, and the teamed up for 36 touchdowns during the camp. The two talked about keeping what they had going, and Richardson actally transferred to Sam Keller’s school so the two could stay teammates. Together, they took their team to the State sectional title game.
I’ll fast forward to the “rest of the story,” and let you read Paola Boivin’s article if you want all the details, but sufice it to say that just before Keller and Richardson were going to team up again at Arizona State — Richardson went back for a visit to his old home turf. Int hat tough neighborhood, he want to a party at the local community center to see some old friends. Shots broke out from someone milling in the crowd oustide the center, and people fell — including Richardson who had been shot in the back. Instead of heading to ASU to play receiver with his friend, Angelo was headed to the hospital and from there to countless hours of rehab… all aimed in trying on day to get him to take a step, not catch a touchdown pass.
Sam Keller talks to his friend often, but the two will never be able to teach up for a touchdown pass like in the past — but that doesn’t mean that their “commitment” to each other has lagged at all. In fact, Angelo will be on the field at ASU for every year with Keller… in a way. The headline in the sports page also carried a picture of Sam Keller holding up a new jersey and changing his number. Instead of the Number 9 he has worn throughout his career in setting passing records for the Sun Devils, he is holding up a Number 2 — his best friends number. Sam Keller will be wearing his friends number this season. Why? Because Keller told his friend he’d find a way for them to play together — and he told the media this was the best way he could think of to keep his “commitment” to his friend.
Wow. That’s commitment. That’s commitment to commitment. Forget all the individual honors Keller may rack up in his career, I think he’s All-American in his commitment to his friend — and that’s a great picture of how we should be committed to our loved ones — even if we have to change numbers or out out of way to keep our relationship strong.
Stay “committed to commitment” with your family, even if you’re like me and are having to “break the cycle of divorce” from your past, and thanks for reading this post.
John Trent, The Center for StrongFamilies and StrongFamilies.com

First StrongFamilies/Dr. John Trent Post!

Words spoken at “firsts” are often hugely significant — like “That is one small step for man…” The launching of this blog is certainly not on par with the first words from the moon, but it does represent what I pray will be “one small step” towards helping men and women everywhere build “out of this world” relationships. So, if you’re reading this post — you’re the first of the first. As close to each day I can, I’ll be posting thoughts, ideas, tools, resources, and more right here in short segments. All geared towards helping you the reader building close, caring, committed relationships — with your friends, your loved ones and our Lord. Thanks for stopping by!!!!!
John Trent, Ph.D., President, The Center for StrongFamilies

Welcome

Welcome to the StrongFamilies blog